Yes, I run an ‘alt’. I’ve never used her much, except when I had a ‘friend’ press his advances on me, despite him being very clear about my feelings towards cyber (I don’t want any, and my profile makes that clear in several languages!). So I muted, de-friended and logged out and stayed out of SL for a couple of weeks before deciding that I shouldn’t let one idiot, who apparently can’t read or read the signals, spoil my SL. So I signed up my alt…and then made her look exactly like me (I mean, my original avatar!). Oh dear!

I couldn’t just re-invent myself. I had become ‘Ella’ to an extent, and needed to be ‘Ella’ in look, even though the alt didn’t carry her name. Well, to cut a long story short, I eventually returned to SL as Ella, and I’ve not encountered the idiot again (despite him being a regular of SL venues), so the ‘alt’ was retired.

This week, I’ve re=activated her. I don’t mean to be rude or unfriendly, but as I’ve embarked on this blog, I’ve realised just what a lot of time it requires, what research is needed, and how many friends -genuine friends I care about- I have in SL who will say ‘hi’ and we’ll chat. I love this element of SL, it’s what I log in for, but sometimes a girl needs to get things done. So occasionally, particularly when a new venue opens up, or is altered to or added to, I’ll be using her as an avi who can maybe slip in unnoticed and get a review done, quietly and quickly. She still looks like Ella, and the profiles are exactly the same.

If you do spot her, by profile reading, or by thinking ‘she looks like Ella’ by all means say hello. I’m not going to deny her, or that she’s me. It just means I’m working on the blog, in dishguise…or not!

The reason I’m telling you this is because my alt dropped into Skinny Dip Inn earlier today, possibly the first time I’ve visited since wee one or two of my SL. SDI will say it’s ‘clothes optional’, nude or swimwear is the preferred option, so I slipped on a bikini and teleported over there. I remembered it as something of a ‘meat market’. Yes, there’s a mix of nude and clothed folks there, so that ticks a box. What doesn’t tick any boxes is the 1000+ day old male avatars in newbie hair and badly coloured penises that defy all logical explanation to their girth and length. Less of a penis, more of a three legged stool.

And sure enough, within a few moments, there were IMs, from 1000+ day old avatars who haven’t learned to profile read yet. ‘Wanna f***?’ Well, no, as my profile makes very, very clear. And as chat up lines go, it’s a loser. A big, big loser.

I knew my SL time was limited, so I made my excuses and left. I won’t be back. Sure, if you want to go somewhere that’s a pick up joint for naked people who aren’t naturists (there’s a big difference) give it a go. Me? And my alt? No, thanks. No thank you at all.

It’s getting to be close to the big day, so I decided I’d send you a note for what I want on my Xmas SL Naturist shopping list.

1. A communal pool with swim poses and a lot of loungers around it. Most RL resorts have one, so maybe you could fix it for me to get a proper sized swimming pool I can take my early morning nudie dips in?

2. At least one beach with a hand-in-hand couple walking pose beside it. A regular feature of RL naturism is couples strolling hand in hand along the shoreline, paddling their feet as they go and, somehow you can practically see the wheels going around in there, with naturism reminding them  why it was they fell in love the first time, regardless of their age now.

3. Aimless woodland walks set back off a beach. Several places I know in France will have pointless, yet lovely, walks just off the beach. Several French places inland are built in woodland, for goodness’ sake, and the water facilities will be a river running through the land (and, of course, a communal pool or two).

That’s it, Santa, I’m not asking anyone to move the earth (except, maybe for the terraforming of a pool!)