Don’t #freethenipple, free us from a procession of ‘feminist’ nonsense in our media

The #freethenipple campaign rolls on.The Guardian, a left-looking newspaper in the UK, has another column about it and, typically, the Guardian’s feminista writers couldn’t hit the nail on the head if the nail had a head six foot in circumference.

While proclaiming to be feminist, the Guardian’s writers often appear confused by their feminism, something that leads, in turn, to the Guardian’s male readers often declaring they haven’t a bloody clue where to stand on feminist issues.

For example, the Guardian’s sistahood will regularly write about Page 3, the topless models who grace(d) the pages of the UK’s downmarket tabloid ‘newspapers’. How awful, they squeal, in this day and age.

I agree, up to a point. The accompanying 1970s styled sexist captioning is dreadful. So here’s Tracey (19) from Slough, or wherever today’s ‘stunner’ originates from, pictured beside a bowl of fruit…and look at the size of her melons!

It does belong to a different, less-enlightened era.


Equally, though, in a free-market economy, if a girl wishes to pose topless, for pretty good money (more than she’d get by what appears to be routine now for a certain generation -taking naked selfies) then why shouldn’t she? People have been trading off their looks since Helen of Troy -the face that launched 1000 ships- and before. It’s nothing new. For males and females alike. So I sort of stand at a place where, if we could get rid of the nonsensical captioning of photographs, reducing a woman merely to the sum of her child-feeding parts, then I’m easy with it.

Am I sending out a confused message? Even without the captioning we’re going to be focussing on her breasts, right? Right! And if they aren’t in tabloid newspapers around the world then they’ll be in art photography, on the beaches, everywhere else. They won’t be going away. And men -until we do desexualise the female breast in a manner not apparent in today’s society- will still look.

Look: in respect of freeing the nipple, if we actually remove all of the breast tissue to have a female with the same chest shape as a man, men are still going to look at other elements of a woman anyway. It’s human nature. Shapely bum, slim legs, pretty face, feminine hairstyle…men are still going to look. So, for me, the argument that it’s all about breasts is a false one.

This latest column about free the nipple asks the question if it’s a question of liberation or tittillation.


Ask any of the women who have joined the campaign, from Scout Willis to Icelandic parliamentarians, and I bet not one would say it was about titillation, that it was all to do with liberation. Of course, this would never occur to Guardian writers. Because ‘it’s not about others, it’s always about me, me, me, and I have a soapbox from which I can stamp my feet against those who disagree with me’. It never occurs that one person’s feminism may differ from another person’s definition. ‘We must all sing off the same hymn sheet -mine’, is how the articles generally run.

I find it nauseating.

I’m in favour of top-free equality, if it is something women wish to do. We’re kidding ourselves if we imagine men are going to lecherously leer any more or less if we’ve got a bikini top on, an Aran sweater, , a business suit, a uniform, or a fishnet tank top. Men are going to look.

I love the fact that Instagram doesn’t have any porn on it, writes Sophie Heawood in this latest column. Er…bare boobs aren’t porn.

I contacted Björt Ólafsdottir to ask why she set this whole thing in motion, she continues. Er….no. Bjork Olafsdottir didn’t set this whole thing in motion. Better research required, Sophie?

Perhaps the answer is that we all start by freeing the nipple, and trusting that our minds will follow, she concludes, kind of insinuating that, regardless of the title to the article -liberation or titillation- it is actually, maybe, perhaps, not sure, jury’s out, about liberation after all.

I have to say that it’s little damned wonder that the male readers of The Guardian express their confusion and dismay at the mixed messages being sent out. I’m a woman, and a feminist, and confused by the drivel that pours out of the paper’s female writers. Sometimes you think the correct course of action would be to pay them to not write words, and simply slip off a bra and stand by a bowl of fruit instead.






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