‘I want to be alone’





In RL naturism a single female can sunbathe without harassment.

In Spain, people have their evening meal much, much later than some other places (the UK, certainly, where 7-8pm would be dinner time) and it could be 10-11pm at night before Spaniards are sometimes dining out and having a meal. So while our -Brits- evening tends to be the evening meal, followed by a period of relaxation prior to bedtime, the Spanish tend to do their evening ‘back to front’, according to British thinking (but entirely correctly according to themselves).

What you find is that people, entire families, couples, and single men and women, will finish work (or school) and then make their way to the beach to soak up the sun and swim before they’ve even gone home. Occasionally, you’ll find them turning up in the uniform of their work, from supermarket cashiers to bank officials, strip off and simply enjoy the beach for a couple of hours. One woman I know very well used to collect her son from school, arrive on the beach and the son (about 8-9 years of age) would do his homework there before his Mum and he would play with a ball, fly a kite, swim or sunbathe until around 8pm, at which point they would meander back to their apartment for the evening meal and, for the son at least, bedtime.

Families will play together on the beach until the sun has dropped beyond the hills and the lengthening shadows have, as a result, disappeared.

People know which sections of the beach, unencumbered by buildings beyond, will offer the longest period of sun, and choose a spot accordingly.

Single ladies will lie there, bronzing themselves, without the slightest hint of some oily lothario coming up and introducing himself. Guys do not disport themselves back and forward in full view of her, as if to infer she might like a piece of his ‘action’. It’s often good looking people not even paying the remotest attention to one another. The sun, the sunbathing and the swimming are uppermost on their minds, not sexual attraction.

I have sunbathed and used a naturist beach alone before now, a de facto ‘single lady’, not being harassed by single males. It’s how RL naturism is.

With this in mind, I used to log into SL and attempt to do something similar, reading the blogs while inworld, ready to throw on a bikini and tp off somewhere if I saw something I might like to buy. Sometimes, if I had some sort of blogging to do, I would try to do the things simultaneously, logging in to laze and lounge while writing a blog post.

Anyone who knows me knows I haven’t been doing that for, well, years. 🙂 Unless I’m on the move, and active, I’ve tended to log in, pick up IMs or group messages and log out again, often quite quickly. Why? Because of occasional unwarranted attention from some male avatars. It’s almost impossible to log in and (in particular) undress and explore a new naturist (which may not always be genuinely naturist) sim without getting the usual sort of unwanted IMs. I’m there to research and report, not be the immediate target of someone looking for cyber. Of course, if they’d read my profile first…

Most female avatars will be familiar with the IM that appears from a random stranger whose avatar you can’t actually see.


‘How are you today?’

‘Begging for some originality in an initial conversational exchange!’


‘Mmm….nice tits’.

Where’s my mute button?

I’m pleased to say that the discovery that I can filter IMs (call me slow, it has only taken six years to learn this) means I can effectively reject unwanted IMs from strangers.

So where does this leave me? Now able to stay logged in, longer, simultaneously ‘sunbathe’ while blogging, accepting group notices, reacting to group notices and IMs from genuine friends, or exploring new sims for longer without someone creeping me out.

I wish someone had explained this to me long before now! 🙂

Now I can get back to the idea of being that single lady on the beach, undisturbed by unwarranted attention and creeps. Just like it is in RL naturism. As I tweak the messages and filters over the coming days, expect me to be logging in for longer periods, and -most importantly- to be able to converse with my SL friends, undisturbed by others, for longer. I look forward to it.



11 thoughts on “‘I want to be alone’

  1. Wow, filtering IMs sounds like an intriguing trick to have in the arsenal! Would you happen to have a link or tutorial that sums up how to do that? Always appreciate your help, Ella! 🙂

    • No link, Ever. I’m still working on it via the various settings pages, but essentially you can set up a different text message for friends and non-friends. Once I’ve cracked it and it seems to work correctly I’ll let you know 🙂

  2. Pingback: How to approach a woman in Second Life | Canary Beck

  3. As a mere male, I like to chat to people and not necessarily with a view to engaging sexually. It’s good to chat to new people to find out what they’re interested in and, indeed, how they are! So “Hi, how are you” seems a reasonable way to start…. Hil

    • But you’re a gentleman, Hil! Some other guys, not so much. A quick read through their profile is always a good indicator too. Groups joined….BDSM, sex, sex, sex, BDSM, Voice/Cam maniac, sex, BDSM. The correct response to the ‘hi, how are you?’ question in those circumstances is ‘I’m really a 60 year old bloke working as a stevedore in Marseilles’

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