Earlier in the week I was referencing the ‘naked selfie’ phenomenon, and it occurred that I didn’t get into the flip side of that – revenge porn.
This is a situation wherein a photo, which may be a selfie, or one taken during a risqué photo shoot with a significant other is often shared online when the relationship turns sour. You dump the guy for being an idiot, terrible in bed, having bad breath, spending more time at a basketball/soccer game than he does with you and…there you are, online in your birthday suit or lingerie, downloaded and shared, and now in a position where you have no control over that image ever again. It will be out there, being shared around, forever.
I was speaking to someone in SL yesterday when the topic came up, and this person told me that she gets asked to pose for photos of a risqué nature by boyfriends. ‘I’m in the dating game after divorce, and I’m just blown away by how much of a thing it seems to be ‘, she told me. ‘You know, guys in their 50s and 60s who want me to do a nude shot in the bathroom mirror and send it to them. It’s kind of weird. Weirder when these men claim that some women send photos unsolicited, like it’s a business card or something, lol. It’s not just teenagers, it’s women my age’. (The avatar I was speaking to is 53 in real life).
At 53, though, she was old enough to remember MAD – Mutually Assured Destruction- a policy of the Cold War, wherein a nuclear strike by a superpower (in those days, the USA and Soviet Union) would be met with a retaliatory strike by the other superpower, leading to the destruction of both. And she was toying with the idea of her and a boyfriend taking a nude photo together and sharing them on their cellphones. That way, the guy got his nude pic of her, but she had ‘insurance‘. If it turned up on line, she could release the photo of him naked too: mutually assured destruction.
I thought it wasn’t such a well thought through idea. After all, the photo could be circulating for years before she’d even have her attention drawn to it. It’s not like the guy was going to text her to say ‘hey, I’ve released that pic of you in your birthday suit onto the internet’. The only ‘mad’ I see here is that anyone is mad enough to do naked selfies.
I could never do that, and I’m in a 10 year old marriage that shows no sign of flagging: we’re destined to be old, wrinkly naturists together on some beach in Florida in our twilight years, I expect. I could never do it because of concerns over digital file sharing safety. Would I take a photo of me in my underwear and send it to my husband knowing that his phone could be lost or stolen? Think it through, ladies! There is no ‘insurance’. Those photos could still circulate. Do you trust ‘the cloud’? Let’s ask Jennifer Lawrence… and others.
Whatever I say isn’t going to change attitudes. Today, in your town, someone is going to take a nude or semi-nude ‘selfie’ and send it to someone else.
The idea is, to me, exceptionally silly.
But as I said earlier this week, and previously on SL Naturist, there’s plenty of opportunities to even do naked selfies in SL.
Fab Free is holding one of its regular ‘Cart Sales’, and the Peeps Fashion cart contains a pose (L$10) which allows you and a significant other to do that photo together (hey, you can even keep your clothes on if your wish!) with…er…’insurance’ that isn’t really insurance.