Single males

Single males have, not unjustifiably sometimes, a bit of a negative reputation in naturism.

They’re sometimes the voyeur types hiding in the dunes with camera (or penis) in hand. They’re the sad, ugly guys who can’t get themselves a girl. They’re the gay men using nude beaches as a pick-up location. And naturism, without ever being homophobic, we’re too laid back to pass judgement on others’ sexuality, but well prepared to criticise displays of sexual activity on naturist beaches, be that of the gay or heterosexual variety-the last link targets doggers and swingers performing sex acts on a naturist beach- does carry a patina of anti-single men attitudes. This is particularly apparent when single men might try to join a naturist club. There’s good, logical thinking for disbarring single males, and that’s to keep a balance of the sexes in place. Men are, by nature, more likely to happily strip off in public than women, and so there’s a constant fight to ensure that a balance between the sexes remains.

Of course there’s no bar on ‘single’ (i.e. unaccompanied) males going to a naturist beach, and it’s a familiar sight to see a male arrive alone, lay out his towel, and then sunbathe without bothering anyone. Gay? Straight? It hardly matters, as he won’t be indulging in any sexual behaviour, of any type, to irritate and annoy others. He sunbathes, he swims, and he goes home.

Single females, too, are often apparent in real life naturist settings. Work ends, and they head to the beach to squeeze in a couple of hours tanning before the evening meal. Wives, widows, single women, schoolgirls reluctantly heading home to do homework, you’ll encounter them all sunning solo, without annoying anyone, without being harassed by anyone.

It’s slightly different, I have to say, in SL. Pop yourself down on a towel in world and wait for the 2-3 minutes before a ‘hi!’ IM pops up from an avatar you can’t see…and can’t even see if you pull up a mini-map to try and identify their location.

It can rapidly go downhill from there. ‘Nice tits’.

It doesn’t happen like that in RL naturism. Women will be left well alone, not subjected to sexual harassment. Which is, quite often, the behaviour all too apparent from some male avatars whether they’re clothed or not!

Me? I’ll talk to anyone, but if the conversation has ‘nice tits’ or similar in it, you can bet your bottom dollar you’re muted instantly without response.



men together3_001b


A rare sight in SL (in clothed or unclothed settings) is friendship between male avatars.

In RL naturism we’ll also see gaggles of people arrive for a bit of tanning, often after school gets out. A mum with her children. A teacher just finished for the day? An elderly woman with her middle-aged daughter and sometimes teenage grand-daughter turn up. A couple of guys might arrive on a moped to grab a quick swim before homework, a night out, football training, an evening job.

They, too, are ‘single’ males, except there are two of them together, but they never seem ‘seedy’ or suspect in their behaviour. The naturist beach is a means to an end. Here, we see another difference between behaviour in real and virtual settings. A couple of naturist men can turn up on the beach. Gay? Hetero? Who cares? Their behaviour is not likely to be sexual and even if there is a display of gay love, two of them kissing for example, no one will bat an eyelid any more than they would kissing between a male and female. A bit of petting…gay or straight…would be a different together4_001b

A couple of male avatars sitting together practically anywhere in SL is much less likely to occur. Male avatars rarely make friends with male avatars. It just looks ‘too gay’. Not that anyone has said as much to me, but my observations suggest that  male avatars aren’t likely to strike up ‘hi’ conversations from distance in the likelihood that the other guy is an interesting kind of guy, judging by his profile.

Fellas, I’m saying to you, don’t be afraid to start up conversations with other male avatars.